I barely have time enough to finish all the paperworks needed to get done by the end of this week. Weird enough that I have the power to write something as weird as this entry right now. Or maybe it was just the sound of the piano playing that's making me feel the urge to settle down my boiling blood and jot this thought that's been lingering on my mind for almost one and a half months already.
I made a decision to love another person after almost 7 years of deciding not to. As a matter of fact, The current state of things makes me say that I don't really love the person at this moment in time, but rather I respect this person and starting to trust him. For one, I believe that to love a person is a decision, not a feeling; that it follows a step from respecting, to trusting, to loving.
It was a 180 degree overturn. It's entirely like a tokimeki game, only that you do everything in real time. There is no reset, there is no save point. There is just you, and the one you are pursuing - hoping that your target person will return your feelings.
I have no idea what will happen in the future. He has mood swings worse than I do. And I tell you, times come that I am the guy in the relationship and he will be that hormonal female girlfriend of mine who bitches more than who is the actual female in this relationship. LOL.
I think I've dug myself another grave. But I don't have the right to complain since I decided to do this "loving" thing anyway.
SO DO EET, FAGGOT.
Yeah, I tell that to myself all the time. :D